The Ghost of You
by summerkindofwonderful
Summary: That was all Cecilia was to him- a ghost of his past.


9 June 1939  
Montclair, New Jersey

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_October 28, 1938_

_Dear Marie,_

_How's my favorite girl? Things have been crazy here at the base- I wake up at six in the morning and go to bed at midnight. Oh how I miss those times when I had the option to sleep all day. How's your mother? I miss her chocolate chip cookies! I miss the New Jersey rains, and our little neighborhood. It's a lot different here._

_But most of all, I miss you, my Marie. I miss your smile, your clumsy little hands; your pretty dresses. I miss all the mischief and trouble we used to get into- those were the moments I feel entirely like my true self, no pretending. I wish you know how incomplete Gerard is without Marie._

_I can't believe it's been more than a year since I've seen you. I've missed one birthday already, and I hope I can make it up to you. A lot has changed, but you'll always be my best girl. I'm always thinking of you, please remember that. No matter how much I want to be with you, things aren't just like that._

_I know for a fact that you're crying right now, you little crybaby. I cry for you too. We'll see each other soon enough, okay? I'll come back for you, I promise. Please send my love to my mom and Mikey; I haven't been able to communicate with them as often either. Be good and take care of yourself._

_'Til we meet again._

_Love always,_

_Gerard_

_PS: Attached to this letter is a drawing. It's how I always remember my Marie- absolutely beautiful in her favorite red dress, and grinning from ear-to-ear. I hope you like it._

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Hot tears streamed down Cecilia's cheeks as she read the letter, again. The sheet of paper was worn; frayed, still she religiously cherished it- Gerard's last letter to her. It had been eight months, and as the days went by, the hope she held in her heart that he would come back, slowly diminished.

Gerard Arthur Way had been her best friend since she was five, while he was six. She vaguely remembered her mother saying that a new family would be moving into the house directly across theirs. Excited with the idea of having a prospective playmate in the exclusive neighborhood, Cecilia hid behind the fences, and silently waited.

The new family finally arrived in a black stretch limousine, a vehicle that only upper-class families were privileged to afford. A tall, sturdy man in a brown uniform first descended into view, followed by a blonde-haired woman, and then two little boys. One was smaller, frail-looking, and wore wire-rimmed glasses. The other was taller, chubby, and had a funny bowl-cut.

Cecilia then remembered relentlessly tugging at her mother's skirt, the prissy five-year old girl that she was, and asking to be introduced to the new children immediately. Growing up as an only child in a house at the prestigious Upper Mountain Avenue, she was a lonely girl. Although treated like a princess by her family, other children from outside the neighborhood thought differently.

She was isolated and labeled as a rich snob, far from the sweet little girl she was. But when Gerard arrived, things became different- she finally gained acceptance, and the feeling that somehow, she belonged. Most importantly, Cecilia Marie Dawson was finally happy.

Ever since that day when she finally persuaded her mother to bring a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies over to the new family, Gerard and Cecilia became inseparable- they started with playing in the sandbox together everyday. They went to school together, and, growing older, partners in crime.

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_"Gerard! It's five in the morning!" Cecilia exclaimed in a hushed voice to the boy who was tapping at her window. The sixteen-year old girl then pushed the glass open to allow her best friend to enter. "You're up to something. What is it?"_

_"Get dressed, we need to talk." he instructed, an unfathomable expression etched on his cherubic features._

_She was slightly surprised. Gerard never used the 'need to talk' phrase unless the subject was urgent. Still, she had to ask. "Can't we talk here?"_

_He shook his head, slightly nudging her towards the walk-in closet. "Go on, I'll wait here."_

_Their dynamics were completely different from the usual hormonal teenagers. There was no malice, no awkwardness between them. All that existed was pure innocence, even as Gerard was starting to discover potential vices- alcohol and cigarettes._

_"Okay, where to?" Cecilia asked, emerging from the closet in a yellow sundress and a white cardigan. With whatever she wore, Cecilia always managed to look stunning, at least in Gerard's eyes. But that day she looked too perfect, he almost didn't want to tell her the news. But it has to be said._

_"Just follow me." he said, as he crept out of the Dawson household, with Cecilia close behind._

_It was the lake just outside the neighborhood- their hideaway, a place where they rest after each day's troubles. The dewy grass made a crunching sound beneath their feet, as the two took steps towards the moment that could change their lives forever._

_"You're making me nervous." she admitted, as they finally reached the lake shore. She took off her white ballet flats, and slowly waded into the shallow waters, the hem of her dress secured in both her hands. "I'm listening." she called out to Gerard._

_"I-I don't really know how to start." he finally conceded after a long pause._

_"Start with the what." she again called out from the water._

_He managed to drag his feet to her direction, and he sat down at a rock near the water. "Remember how I always told you I wanted to be an airman in the US Air Force?"_

_Cecilia merely nodded, waiting for the rest of his story._

_"Well, dad. He- he enlisted me for training. Said it was his birthday gift to me." he told her, pertaining to the day before, his seventeenth birthday._

_Of course, his father was a high-ranking official at the Air Force, a Major General. "That's good!" she beamed with happiness at the news. "Although that means we won't graduate from high school together, as planned."_

_Gerard bit his lip and nodded._

_"Where's the training, and how long will it be? Do you have a copy of your schedule?" she inquired. "The base better be near, or else." she added jokingly, a small but tense laugh escaped from her lips._

_He didn't want to answer. He wanted to run away, knowing how his very best friend would be devastated if he told the truth. The base was nowhere near New Jersey- it was in Hawaii. The length of training will be indefinite, and there was no 'schedule'. As long as he was needed there, he would have to stay._

_And there was a nagging possibility that they would never see each other again._


End file.
